Fears

Right after I found out about {The Ex}'s affairs, the story of that Craigslist Killer broke national news. The Craigslist Killer was very cleancut. He was engaged, and he lived with his fiancee. She protested that he was sweet and loving and wouldn't hurt a fly. Then they kept finding more and more.

In the year prior, the story of that Austrian guy who kept his own daughter in a dungeon in his basement, and raped her, and then kept the children he had with her down there too, came out. I wondered, what is wrong with his wife that she didn't think anything was wrong? How can she be married to such a monster? And how could the fiancee of the Craigslist Killer love and be engaged to such an evil person?

This is not harmless, the how to touch it, we do not want the/ screen/ completely/ lifted from our eyes...

There is some part of me that feared that {The Ex} could be capable of such a thing. He had a temper I only heard about, but never saw. You think you know a person, and you find out you don't know him at all. Then anything is on the table. Tell me anything, and I can't possibly be any more surprised. Just tired, and sore, and sad, and raw, and very, very grateful to have put a country between myself and {City}.

I know how those women could be attached to monsters. Denial. Denial is a thick fog, and it's warm, like a down blanket on a cold Monday morning. No one wants to get up out of that and step into bracing unpleasantness. It just feels preferable to give in to it, even if its smothering. It feels preferable, until it doesn't.