Persona: Man on Wire

The Ex's public persona was very, very different from his shadow persona.  It is easier to trust a player, because you know what he's about:  he tells you.  He tells you that he's not looking for a relationship, he's playing the field, and he's not trying to hide it.  The Ex kept his infidelities very, very secret, but because our work lives overlap...and because of the internet...his secrets came out.

I've had lots of guy friends who were players.  I never judged them.  Sometimes I slept with them if I wasn't looking for anything serious.  If they two-timed a girl, I'd let her know about it.  Or somebody would, because they weren't really secretive about who they were or what they were about.

I have a catalogue of memories of The Ex's responses to things, and how they don't add up.  What is real?  The public persona or the secret one?  Is it a Jekyll/Hyde thing going on?  An addiction of sorts?

Here is a memory:

We went to see the documentary, "Man on Wire," about the French tightrope walker, Phillipe Petit.  His dream is to walk a tightrope between the Twin Towers in New York City.  The film is all about his planning and scheming to be able to do it.  His friends all help him out, including his girlfriend.  Once he does it, he's a star!  A woman comes up to him and plants a kiss on his cheek and off he goes with her to a hotel where they disappear for days.  Fucking.  FFWD.   He is famous, but all of the friendships and relationships he had made to get to that point fell apart.  The girlfriend goes away.  The friends all go away.  No more, they say.  Can't do that again.

When we walked out, The Ex said that he loved it, but he thought the guy was a douche for disappearing to fuck this girl for a few days, ignoring his girlfriend and all of his friends.  And on and on about how much the girlfriend had helped the guy, and how he had just forgotten all about her the minute he got famous.

This from The Ex who forgot about me the minute I turned my back.

I would much rather deal with a player and know what I'm dealing with.  At least that's honest.