Research

Have you seen the previews for "The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"?  How a woman shows up at a date with a full background check?

This is almost that bad.

I've been reading about sex addiction, and I've read that the addiction, much like alcoholism, runs in families.  There will be dysfunction throughout the family history -- relatives with affairs, illegitimate children, possibly even prostitutes and child molesters.

I looked up The X on pipl.com (fascinating) and it pulled up his divorce decree on the State Courts Public Records.  His divorce was finalized almost a full year after he said it was.  He said that he had been divorced for a year when he met me.  More like 3 months.

His extended family is enormous (Roman Catholics).  I looked up their last name in the State Courts system.  Relatives of his that I knew, had spent time with, had met their wife and kids, sued for paternity in the State Courts.  Paternity established, custody of the illegitimate children worked out, child support payments decreed.  Criminal assault cases.  Restraining orders.  Restraining orders broken, again and again.  Bad checks.  Domestic violence.

Why did I want this information?  Why did I go looking for it?  People are not created in a vacuum.  Families are systems, and the patterns are passed on...

I remember saying to The X how much his grandfather seemed to adore and revere his grandmother, and he said, "Yeah, but he put her through some shit too."  And left it at that.  I wonder.  I wonder if his grandfather was unfaithful, I know his father was...